Its a time where wrong seems right, and right does not make sense anymore, right does not matter anymore. Its the time when the senses stop working..and right just does not make sense anymore.

What is right anyway? What I learnt from childhood? from textbooks? or what I learnt off the Holy Book? or what other taught me of what God said? What my mother told me? or that which I heard my father say? or siblings because they are older, they know better….But I dont see myself in any.

What a shame? that I haven’t thought about it. I’ve had plenty of time on my own, ever since teens passed.

Why do I not know what is and what is not? Why does all that I hear does not make sense anymore. Is it because they, which include many, are not right..or is it because I just got down to thinking.

What is that time that what my eyes make visible, I do not want to see and accept. What is this moment that what I hear is another story that is not what I see or I want to see.

Thats the problem with truth also. We are adamant to stick by it, as a rule.We don’t quite like it when we hear it. So we try seeking escape in our principles and morals that tell us what not to be said, so the truth remains beneath all.

The problem with truth is that I am not sure right now what it means. Is it what I feel or is it that which I must not feel.

If it is what I feel then I must say it.

I don’t like compulsions so I don’t want to use ‘must’ here, I am even having trouble with the should’s.. but then what to do in order to communicate!

Even if its not justified in any court of justice, it is how I feel, and it deserves to be given that weight. Its important to communicate my feelings. Not important to you or for a situation, its important to me.

And there is a problem that nobody else can communicate on my behalf, only I know how it feels because its is my feeling. and there is a problem, there is only one me, which is me…therefore, I have nobody left to feel and speak my feeling on my behalf. So, this whole circular argument might suggest that what I feel must be communicated.


Happy Birthday Brother!

Its my brother’s birthday, the day his soul was given a physical appearance in this world, or actually even nine months before.

I wanted to do something special for him for his birthday, but like always I couldn’t take enough time out to practically do something apart from just thinking about it.

They say it’s the thought that matters…. Matters to who? I don’t know… I am not even sure if its actually true.

And now I do believe that sometimes you’ve got to stand up and just do it for people who really matter, and not think about the hows and whys of it.

Sometimes its important may be not for one’s own self, but for the others. May be not even to a great extent… But just that small gesture, the absence of which may be ignored but the mere presence and happening of this act makes a huge impact, tells them you care, makes them feel special, makes the impact that they deserve to feel. I may never be able to make that kind of a difference in anyone’s day, but I certainly do keep the wish!

You, my brother, are a special person in my life and I am lucky that out of a millions and billions of combinations and permutations, the family that I opened my eyes to in this world, the family that was given the responsibility of my upbringing had you in it.

We are blessed that the people who assumed the role of our care takers in this world were people as kind as our parents.

I am honored that you were the eldest of my siblings, you assumed the personality with that focus which was a source of inspiration for me in more than one ways. The selflessness that characterizes you gives me the justification to be a selfless me that I had been escaping for years.

You are special, not because you give me the right to be spoiled and pampered, not even because I recently learnt how wise and accurate in estimations you could be, and not even because you happen to hold that inside of an armor that acts as shield and tries to protect me from any harm or pain. But because you are that person who I can learn so much from everyday, you are the person whose personality and experiences I can relate to each day. A person who I aspire to be!

Yes you are that person.

Happy Birthday!

I repeatedly thank God you were born into that family I was sent to later. I am glad HE gave me chance to be your sister, a person close enough to you, who shares the same blood as you, whose soul seeks the same light as yours, whose heart feels the same pain as you, whose laughter depicts the same happiness, whose spirits enjoy the same height of joy. And most importantly, who shares the same mother, a mother who is our closest depiction of God and the closest signal of HIS Love. So essentially, shares the same view of God…shares the same God!!

Happy Birthday Brother!… May you have many many more.

You are a truly blessed soul. This one right to life that HE has given you, and these chances to keep living and breathing and going that HE gives you everyday, seize them!!!

May you grow as a person, and may you always be happy :)