The thing with us humans is that we observe, we learn and adapt, sometimes we learn quickly. Sometimes we learn really deep, as if the lesson that we have learnt is coming from deep within. But we see quite often that what we have just learnt, we had realized the same lesson exactly as much from within once, twice, or many a times before too.

The problem is neither with the lesson, nor with the intensity of it..the problem is not even with us…its just that the thing with us people is that we need constant reminders. Reminders about what we must do, about what we learnt and more importantly, why?

Who would know about the nature of us human beings more than the Entity Who created us. That is probably why we see so many reminders and repetitions of a single message in our Holy Book that was sent down for all mankind, for all times to come.

The next time I’ll forget a lesson, and retell it to myself some days, months or years later, I’ll probably not worry that much about forgetting it again, and more importantly about have forgotten it, and having to go through so much trouble of learning it all over again. Because then I’d know I am a human, I make mistakes, I learn lessons, of which some I sustain, but I forget the others… because I am meant to forget. May be only partially. But this time I’d know that I needed a reminder. And I would know that I’d need many more reminders, may be from different angles, but they’ll be reminders to the very same lesson that I’d once learnt already!.. But this time I won’t worry!!


something beyond me

Sometimes we hear something and we instantly need proof. ..visual or verbal…may be testimony by another…I wonder what it does..does it improve the situation?… does it make the situation more authentic for me to be able to comment now?..because really, i m sure things were not waiting for my comment to happen, it may not add anything extra in my life either.

There’d be times when I saw something and I had to hear an account of it from them to reconcile with my vision…what if what I heard after seeing didn’t satisfy me, what if they lie… I  am sure I’d still want to hear…  As if that would change anything…change the way I’d feel.

I see myself seeing and hearing and then making sense of it all… I see everything going in favour of what I see…going against me!..some going in accordance with what I felt, a part of it going against how I feel.

This makes me ponder on which part of me is really me! My eyes, my ears, my instincts, my feeling, my emotions, my thoughts , my intellect. I see all of them defy eachother..defy me!

But what do I mean by me? my hands that are writing, or my mouth that is saying the words while I write. I know this has to be more and greater than just these two…something that has likes and dislikes, something that is not the captive of must and must nots, something that can think way beyond right or wrong.

Something that connects with whats invisible to the eye, inaudible to the ear, something that is not felt by my touch, something that is awake when my body and my brain and my conscience are asleep.

Something in me that sees beyond the horizons , that hears beyond the silence, that talks in me beyond words… that thinks beyond my ideas, that feels beyond my senses….something that laughs roaringly, endlessly!..that cries beyond the last tear drop in my eye.

something that cares beyond I can imagine, nurtures beyond the capacity of a mother, loves beyond what describes love.

Something that shakes the inside of me…and tells me its not me…and that its not me!!

Something that is me…..

My World!

We usually think of this world through its physical appearance…this Earth or the universe..or the galaxy..not exactly sure what is that extent to which the physical world prevails. But when you go beyond the physical bit, I think its our perspective that makes our world around us. How we view anything and everything, from living things to non living, from relationships to property, from money to love, from emotions to all the material existences out there supporting our comfort, from luxury to habits. Its our view and insight about these things and many more to everything that we see or feel around us that makes our world.

Imagine what meeting each new person in our life does to us,  imagine to what extent our worlds grow when meeting and knowing and opening up to new people… Giving them a peep into one’s own perspective. Listening to their stories and coming across so many different views, giving us the chance to broaden our world. We see our own views transforming, changing shape, growing in size!

Imagine what reading does to us…we read a narrative, we read about one’s life from someone else’s perspective…we read and add more perspectives in own world…

A learning that can’t be unlearnt!

An expansion of our universe to new horizons!

Building of new perspectives!…..   Formation of our real world!

the other side of the wall

whats behind that wall, I am very curious to find out…Worse even, I am even unclear on what exactly is going on this side…I do see everything, even the shadows, I get some of it, but its hazy… In a case like mine, I don’t know what benefit it would give me to know whats on the other side of the wall..I don’t know what difference it would make to my understanding of this side once I am aware of whats on the other side. But the truth is I want to know..even more honest would be that I am desperate to find out… May be not that desperate yet that I start deconstructing the wall, and try to make an opening for myself. I am not even sure if I really want to go on the other side. More importantly I know that I don’t want to be seen on the other end. But I really wana know… Do I want someone from the other side, some stranger to come and give me news?… I don’t know and I don’t know for how long will I not know, but I want to know… So I’ll wait, doing my bit, on this side, blinded!, but trusting God, that He will answer my questions…trusting that He will not leave me empty-handed, that He will guide me like He always has!..So I ‘ll just wait…show some patience, and I’ll just wait to know…and something very strongly tells me that I will know!.


going in circles

A questions arises in my head, are we comfortable with our own selves? Are we comfortable with just knowing what we go through each day? Or are we always looking? for that one, two, or many who will understand this we can share.

Sometimes I see myself looking for those who will be able to understand.. Sometimes I see myself trying to make people see it…see what this moment is doing to me… for them to see the comfort, the happiness, the pain that I had felt earlier today when they werent there… Sometimes I see myself trying to earn that soft corner of their hearts for me…A little sympathy from their end doesnt seem to hurt my ego at gives me an unpleasant pleasure instead. And again I see myself telling them what all had happened while they were gone, as if that’ll change anything… as if that’ll erase whats history, as if they’ll be able to feel what I felt, as if that’ll change me, as if that’ll take away the sorrow, as if there were any sorrows, as if there were any tears which I wished for them to wipe…. and then I keep going in circles… what for? I fail to comprehend… I fail to unfold the sheets of thought…I fail to untie all the knots…as if my confessions sorted it out for me…

They say when you share your happiness they multiply, and when you share your sorrow they multiply too… I am not sure if I feel any light keeping them in…I don’t think I felt any better letting them out… I don’t know if I got any answer..the only thing it did was to make me know clearly what I thought and what I felt… There is more to it I know, which I haven’t explored, but I think I will come to know